Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Dreaded C Word

The C word. The dreaded C word. And no, I’m not talking about C U Next Tuesday. Although I wish I was! Every fiber of my being wishes I was. But alas, I am not. I’m talking about something much worse. CANCER!! An ugly, horrible word, no one ever wants to hear. Unfortunately for my family this word has shoved its way in and made itself at home in my poor little cousins body.

He’s not so little, in his teens, 13 I believe (I know, horrible I’m not certain), he’s taller now than I am and will hopefully grow up to be a great man. But he’ll always be my little cousin with the 10 year age difference and all. No matter how big he gets I’ll always think of him as 10 years old.

This week we found out he had cancer. What started out as being thought of as possible growing pains has turned into Stage 3 Osteocarcoma. The good thing is he is going to start treatment right away. Unfortunately from what I’ve been able to tell from a quick research on this, it isn’t good, BUT I as well as my family are NOT going to give up on this young man. I’m going to stay positive for him and for his parents and brother and because I’m hopeful he can get through this.

It breaks my heart that he has to go through this. I can’t even imagine what my aunt and uncle are going through. This is their son, their little boy, but we will stay strong as a family and pull through this no matter what happens. We will be there for them.

It’s a strange thing cancer. It’s not some virus you can catch, It’s your body literally turning against you. And why? We may never know. It’s unimaginable.

I personally don’t believe in any kind of religion, in this case I wish it were real/true. I wish that all the prayers being sent out would be answered. What I do believe in is strength and being positive. I believe that keeping him positive and keeping his environment positive along with his strength and will to fight are very important and will help tremendously.

It’s a sad, terrible thing when anyone has cancer let alone a child. No child should go through this. I’m going to keep believing that he’ll get through this, I know he will. I love you cuz and I’m always be here for you!!

Monday, January 7, 2013

It's a New Year, here I come

It’s the New Year, 2013, and we are still alive. We made it through the Mayan apocalypse. I’m sure sometime soon, there will be a newly predicted end of the world date. Another chance for the crazies to predict our doom! Joy!

With the New Year come resolutions. As I’ve heard others say, and I agree with them, I don’t like to make New Year’s resolutions because I never stick with them. Goals are better, although I fear I may not stick to those either. BUT I’d like to try. This for me isn’t necessarily something that I’m doing because of the New Year, it’s something I’ve been trying on and off to do for the past year or so. And as always, with most women I think, I’d like to lose weight. It really hit me the other day, more so than in the past, when I went to buy a pair of jeans. I had to return a pair for a bigger size. It was bad enough returning the size that they were and made worse by the size I had to get! UGH! Let me just say, I was never anywhere close to this size in my life. It all started a few years ago, while with my ex. It’s awful because you don’t even realize what’s happening, and then you wake up one day and BOOM! LOTS of pounds heavier and your clothes don’t fit! Then you see a picture of yourself and DAMN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!

I know it’s probably not realistic to think that I’ll look like I did when I was 18, but I’d sure as hell like to get close. I’m only 26; I should be healthier and happier with myself. I’m lucky to have the best man beside me that thinks nothing is wrong with me and loves me the way I am. Who tells me I’m crazy every time I tell him I wish my butt or boobs were smaller. But, I need to do this for me! I really need to take this seriously and get healthy and happy for me!

I think this whole jeans shopping experience really woke me up. I’m not saying that I’m never going to eat a cheeseburger or drink a soda, that’s just silly. I don’t like the idea of dieting, I need to work on eating healthier as a whole and incorporating more exercise. I think, in my opinion, that’s where a lot of people go wrong, I’ve seen it, with people I know. Extreme dieting. Because once they stop and try and start eating normal again, the weight comes right back. Clearly I’m not nutritionist or doctor, but I believe in portion control. That’s probably one of my biggest problems. Other than eating out more than I should lol. Here’s to this GOAL and making this change! This is me taking control of my life and getting to a healthier happier me!