Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Happy Happenings

It’s always great to see good things happening to the people you love and care about.

Just this past weekend I was able to celebrate some wonderful happenings.

First we were able to celebrate friends of ours buying their first house! This is exciting cause they are both young and what an awesome accomplishment to be able to do that at a young age and they are so happy about it. I’m so happy for them because they are such a wonderful couple and you can really tell that they love each other. It’s great to see people so happy and see how excited they are to make this space their own and begin this next chapter in their lives! I’m so proud of them!

If that wasn’t enough excitement, we found out that my cousin proposed to his girlfriend during their weekend away for his birthday! No one knew except his mother and my grandmother. It’s amazing that my grandmother was able to keep it a secret! Over the weekend we all got together for dinner to celebrate the engagement and my cousin’s birthday. As always it was a great time, good food and lots of laughs.

He picked a good person to share his life with, she’s a wonderful woman and I’m glad she’ll officially be part of the family!

So…here comes another wedding! And she wants to do it soon! We may see them married at the beginning of next year!

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” – Andy Rooney

I find this appropriate because as my friends and family start the next chapter in their lives they will continue to grow with each other and be happy.

May we all continue to grow and be happy!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

sept 21st

I always thought that I might not be right for love, that it just wasn’t in the cards. That I’d never get married and never had kids. And though, I thought I’d found it before, it was only to be hurt and tossed aside. Further discouraging me. Of course, I would tell myself not to think this way, I’m young I’ve got plenty of time, I don’t need to worry about this, it will come. The right man will come along.

Two years ago I met the most wonderful man. What started off as a simple conversation quickly became much more. I’ll never forget that first conversation. I wasn’t even really paying attention to him. I was thinking, why is this guy talking to me? He never says anything, he’s the guy who wears the two lanyards around his neck with his two favorite teams, the weird guy who asks me if I want anything everyday when he goes off to lunch. The next thing I know, I’m falling for this guy. Everything is so easy, it’s like we’ve been doing this for years. I’d say he had me at hello, but it took a little longer than that, though not much!

Quick story, I’ll never forget the first time he said he loved me. We were walking down the hall at work and talking like we do every morning on my break. He said something that I didn’t catch and with wide eyes clapped his hand over his mouth. He wouldn’t tell me what he said even after trying to guess. He told me later that he said he loved me. I’ll never forget that.

This man of mine, he’s caring and loving and funny and smart and so much more. He’s everything I’ve wanted and needed. He’s made me a better person. I can’t imagine life without him.

Time has gone by so fast that I can’t believe it’s already been two years and at the same time I can’t believe it’s only been two years. I can’t wait to see where our life takes us as long as we are with each other. We have some obstacles ahead of us that I know we’ll get through together. I can’t imagine being with a better guy, because there isn’t one.

I love you and will always love you with all that I have. You are my sun and stars, you are my world Bill. I love you!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Grandma Rose:(

My grandmother has been in the hospital for just over a week. It's bad enough that my Uncle didnt tell my dad right away but I cant even tell you how upset I am tonight.
I came down yesterday with my famil...to San Diego, where my grandmother lives and is in the hospital, to see her and my mother and I drove back early this morning to see her again and get more information on what the situation was. When we got here we had just missed the doctor by ten minutes..... Just so you know, we were driving in from 3 hours out....so we were told that with what is wrong with her she decided to have surgery. So after being here all day, the surgery was moved back from the afternoon to the evening. I made the decision to take another day off work....I took today off and made the decision to fake tomorrow off as well so that I could see my grandmother before she want into surgery and make sure she made it through just in case.
Well she went in not that long ago. BUT and here it is...first let me tell you this is my dads mom...and so he only sibling, his brother is here with his wife and their cousin is here. Whom I may hate for the rest of my life. Not because she has to be in charges of everything and seems to be faking the niceness since I haven't seen her since I was a wee child and frankly dont remember her at all...no none of that is why.
As they come in to take my grandmother downstairs I kind of just get out of the way so they can get her into the new bed and get her moved, I was able to say a quick "we are followyoh down there and we'll see you before you go in" before they took her in.
So we get down to the surgery waiting area and they tell us only two family members...so obviously her two sons...but no the cousin cant control herself. .."im just gunna go see where they are taking her, i'll be back." And guess what she doesn't come back. So at that point whatever, its F-ing annoying but whatever. After that were are waiting a long time waiting for the chance to see her before she goes in cause they told us that two family members could come back and see her once she's ready to go before they start. So eventually my dad comes back and no cousin, stays back there, and mind you she's been there for a while, this whole time. So ky father comes back and picks up my mother and his sister-in-law. Then my parents walk back, now this was very quick. So they tell me that as soon as they got there they whisker her away into surgery. Then this bitch comes walking back with my uncle and aunt. And I was ok on the outside for a second and I walked away to call Bill to tell him this bitch may taken my last chance to see my grandmother alive away from. Then I just lost it and broke down. How dare you stay back there knowing there are other people that need to see her, how dare you! AND then not even apologize to me the next time you see me. I dont think the bitch feels the least bit sorry.
Now I started writing while waiting for her ti get out of surgery of course not knowing if I would get to see mt grandmother alive again because of course anything could happen during a major surgery and especially how frail she was. Im finishing this with the good news that she has made it out of surgery so far but is no where near the end of the rainbow and the next few days will be very critical.
I can't tell you how pissed I still am, there is still a chance that she could go, of course I'm not thinking about that. I will hate this woman for the rest of my life if something happens. My jaw is going to be sore and now I know why my shoulders are tight, because as I type this im getting mad all over again and tensing up and clenching my jaw. We have been in the waiting room going on 6 hours and I can't even look at her. I feel sick to my stomach...although I will admit that could be the 2.5 five hour energies i've had in the last almost 24 hours that I have been awake..so far I think its 22 hours ...
I will now focus on the positive that it wasn't cancer and she's made it this far and she's a fighter, she will make it. Otherwise I might have to cut this bitch!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Death and Dying

Now, I know this isn’t the best way to come back this world of blogging after having some time pass since I’ve last been here. But I couldn’t help myself from thinking about this. It started sometime this weekend. I must’ve been bored or who knows what. I have no idea where it came from, but I started thinking about dying. And of course when I arrive at work it pops back in my head and I had to say to myself, why am I thinking about this?

Again, where this came from, I have no idea. But it’s a little depressing to think that after we die, that’s it. We are gone. This world and this universe goes on. And it has obviously done that for millions of years and it will continue to do so. But us? Nope we are just gone. We have this little spec of life on the timeline of the Earth and the universe and that’s it. Where do we go? Do we go anywhere? What happens to us? I’m not a religious person nor do I believe in religion or that we go to heaven or hell….I think it’s a comforting thought, to believe that when we die we go to heaven and are able to see our loved ones etc. etc. (if we make to heaven). I think it’s something we humans have used for comfort for as long as we’ve been around.

On the other side of that, if that doesn’t exist, then what happens to us? I think back on an episode of Dr. Who, a sad episode for me, but any who ;), one of the characters dies and says, she was right or something like that (referring to either a previous episode or something that happened earlier in that episode), that when you die it’s black, it’s all black. You’re in the world of darkness essentially is how I took it. And that’s my point I guess. Is that what happens to us? Or nothing?

I guess it’s a hard concept to grasp. It’s hard to wrap my head around it. We are here living and breathing and going through life. and to have death be just pure nothing….that’s a little hard to grasp and hard to imagine. Especially when you think of the ones you love that are still here and the ones you’ve lost. I love living and I love being, so what does that mean when I die?

These are the pleasant thoughts I’ve had in my head over the weekend! HA!

PS: it’s one of those things that I could just ponder over for hours and think about I guess. It’s kind of like the universe. Bill and I will talk about it sometimes, it’s another one of those things that is hard to grasp. I ask the question, we have our galaxy and beyond that is other galaxies and stars and all kinds of wonderful things, but what’s beyond that? and beyond that? it’s hard to imagine there being and end. however big the universe might be all things have an end or and edge, and where that edge lies, what’s beyond that? and what’s beyond the beyonds edge and so forth. It’s hard for the human mind I think in general not to think that way. Everything in our world and in science I think would make one think that. It’s just one of those things that I could think about and think about!